Monday, May 27, 2013
i want to move on
i decided to move on...seriously decision...even agak berat pun sebenarnya...berat bukan sebab apa..sebab hati sendiri yang tak nak lepaskan...but i keep push my heart to forget u..it will be hard but from hurting myself again n again, i better to try than keep on be like this...spend a few days together make me realize how stupid i am..make me realize that i'm da only one that had this stupid feeling...again n again i keep on said to myself to forget u...this time it is serious thing..n i hope i can do it...tak nak diperbodohkan lagi..tak nak fikir over2 lagi...lepas nie tak jumpa kan3?so, aku selamat r kot dari dihantui ko...before nie boleh je lupakan, takkan now tak leh kan3?okay...tu je...
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
crush?
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush
‘Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
‘Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Read more: DAVID ARCHULETA - CRUSH LYRICS
Thursday, May 16, 2013
hurt....AGAIN
well...for a time being tak jumpa...n i hope to meet u again...seriously...i put quite high hoping to meet u...n i do seriously not expected to meet u today...but my happy feeling see u vanished right away after i saw u with another girl...uhukkkssss...it was like a knife stabbing into my heart at that time...why must i meet u like this???WHY???seriously, it do feel really hurt...this is 2nd time i feel hurt...but i cannot blame u...i do like u but i never say it...and i will never ever say it...cause i know what type of a girl that u admire...and of course, i'm not that type of girl...n for me, i want to look like i was like chasing u...hurmmmm...now my mind is totally blow up and miserable feeling hunted me right now...my head keep on playing what i saw just now...i want to stop this but i can't...why heart...i want to let go of this feeling...but my heart doesn't give me that chance...until when will this feeling will keep on...it is until i hurt and hurt again?just me that always feel there is a chance to be with u but it all false and a lie...a biggest lie...it was only an empty hope...i do feel really happy when we were together...but then, i realize...maybe it is only a short term feeling...n now i do feel empty and a loose...loose for that kind of feeling and losing a close friend...i didn't realize it much until just now...hurmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Saturday, May 11, 2013
my feel when with you
"if she comfortable around you, she'll tackle you, sing to you, be weird around you, dance for you, scream at you, take your food, be mean to you"
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
trust
assalammualaikum
okaylah...still in mood hockey lagi sebenarnya...even my entry topic is TRUST...well, thing that i observed sepanjang hockey kat utem nie la...from a person yang tak pernah tahu main atas, aku belajar main atas...tapi confident dia setakat jadi defend je r...nak main striker, wing tu, cam belum lagi...sebenarnya aku yang takut nak try...but sikit2 now i'm trying...
apa kena mengena trust dengan hockey kan...well, petang2 aku turun training, training dengan budak laki...main small game pun dengan budak laki...where did i learn to improve my skills? yeap exactly from them...tak minta dorang ajar pun...just belajar by observing...at first, it was quite hard to get ball from the boys...sumpah payah...dari last sem kot...kira dah almost setahun nie...but not all, i get my confidence sebab ada kawan2 yang baik hati bagi chance ke kitorang try...nak tayang gak r nama dorang...like acap n aed...acap is the best person i meet since dia betul2 bagi peluang ke budak2 untuk belajar...even dari tak tahu apa2...i'm learning from them...then makin lama, i improved...n since aku banyak main bawah pun, but at least, i can defend...sikit2 gak start dapat bola dari budak2 nie...start regain their trust maybe...
lately nie, aku main dengan senior2...biasa ni main gak tapi entah...seriusly ada senior yang aku tak leh pergi langsung...sumpah kekok...but for 1 part i remember masa kitorang main small game, dorang siap ajar ke mana aku patut pergi...and dorang sendiri pass bola tu...it is something pada orang tak perlu bangga but for me, its quite terharu sebenarnya...and ada se lagi small game...camtu gak...aku duduk dekat bawah macam biasa...dulu, salu aku tunggul je kat bawah tu...tapi this time, ada senior yang suruh pass bola tu ke aku supaya aku boleh buka n cari ruang untuk bagi ke team...i took quite long time to get this...but pada aku, adat r...practice make perfect...usaha tangga kejayaan...n so on la...if aku tak turun training, memang takde harapan la kan nak improve...
then, again a small game...masa tu tak ramai..masa tu aku group with 2 boys, n pihak lawan ad 2 girls...n one of the girls is a newbie...aku marah dekat budak2 laki yg ada sebab aku suruh bagi chance dekat dak perempuan tu...budak perempuan tu taknak2...macam aku dulu2...but masa tu gak aku cakap it is for her confidence level...n aku ingat lagi budak laki dok bahan aku...contohi aku...confident habis sekarang...ngek tol peragai...sebenarnya takde r confident gila2 but at least i do have the confidence...all of it come from training n juga bantuan members...
terus terang dulu aku dah nak stop hockey nie...but getting to know kawan2 yang gila2 like geng2 jemah tu, members yang happening, senior yang okay n juga crush...opsss, okay takde2..mne ada crush...haha...it make me feel really happy to be in team...even kena bahan teruk2 pun, but itu yang make me smile, make me laugh, make stress disappered n others la...senang cerita bawa kegembiraan la...itu sebab ye aku tak jadi stop hockey...dari malu turun training, sampai dah tak kisah turun training seorang perempuan until la now...senang cerita, have amazing, nice n good friends with u, benda yang tak suka pun, u will like it as long as u do it together...n bout the trust...itu je cerita dia...well, tak mudah nak regain trust orang...payah sangat...but as long as u keep do it, make it better...sikit2 mata dorang akan terbuka...just one thing, bila orang dah tahu apa yang kita boleh...orang jarang nak ubah pandangan tu...as for me, i start as keeper...so, bila aku tak main keeper, i know a few people tak boleh terima...bila aku nak try main atas, even tak dicakap depan2 pun but pertikaian tentang itu still ada n i know it...but tak salah if i want to change kan?bukan aku tak tahu apa2...i know what i can do...okay tu je...bye
okaylah...still in mood hockey lagi sebenarnya...even my entry topic is TRUST...well, thing that i observed sepanjang hockey kat utem nie la...from a person yang tak pernah tahu main atas, aku belajar main atas...tapi confident dia setakat jadi defend je r...nak main striker, wing tu, cam belum lagi...sebenarnya aku yang takut nak try...but sikit2 now i'm trying...
apa kena mengena trust dengan hockey kan...well, petang2 aku turun training, training dengan budak laki...main small game pun dengan budak laki...where did i learn to improve my skills? yeap exactly from them...tak minta dorang ajar pun...just belajar by observing...at first, it was quite hard to get ball from the boys...sumpah payah...dari last sem kot...kira dah almost setahun nie...but not all, i get my confidence sebab ada kawan2 yang baik hati bagi chance ke kitorang try...nak tayang gak r nama dorang...like acap n aed...acap is the best person i meet since dia betul2 bagi peluang ke budak2 untuk belajar...even dari tak tahu apa2...i'm learning from them...then makin lama, i improved...n since aku banyak main bawah pun, but at least, i can defend...sikit2 gak start dapat bola dari budak2 nie...start regain their trust maybe...
lately nie, aku main dengan senior2...biasa ni main gak tapi entah...seriusly ada senior yang aku tak leh pergi langsung...sumpah kekok...but for 1 part i remember masa kitorang main small game, dorang siap ajar ke mana aku patut pergi...and dorang sendiri pass bola tu...it is something pada orang tak perlu bangga but for me, its quite terharu sebenarnya...and ada se lagi small game...camtu gak...aku duduk dekat bawah macam biasa...dulu, salu aku tunggul je kat bawah tu...tapi this time, ada senior yang suruh pass bola tu ke aku supaya aku boleh buka n cari ruang untuk bagi ke team...i took quite long time to get this...but pada aku, adat r...practice make perfect...usaha tangga kejayaan...n so on la...if aku tak turun training, memang takde harapan la kan nak improve...
then, again a small game...masa tu tak ramai..masa tu aku group with 2 boys, n pihak lawan ad 2 girls...n one of the girls is a newbie...aku marah dekat budak2 laki yg ada sebab aku suruh bagi chance dekat dak perempuan tu...budak perempuan tu taknak2...macam aku dulu2...but masa tu gak aku cakap it is for her confidence level...n aku ingat lagi budak laki dok bahan aku...contohi aku...confident habis sekarang...ngek tol peragai...sebenarnya takde r confident gila2 but at least i do have the confidence...all of it come from training n juga bantuan members...
terus terang dulu aku dah nak stop hockey nie...but getting to know kawan2 yang gila2 like geng2 jemah tu, members yang happening, senior yang okay n juga crush...opsss, okay takde2..mne ada crush...haha...it make me feel really happy to be in team...even kena bahan teruk2 pun, but itu yang make me smile, make me laugh, make stress disappered n others la...senang cerita bawa kegembiraan la...itu sebab ye aku tak jadi stop hockey...dari malu turun training, sampai dah tak kisah turun training seorang perempuan until la now...senang cerita, have amazing, nice n good friends with u, benda yang tak suka pun, u will like it as long as u do it together...n bout the trust...itu je cerita dia...well, tak mudah nak regain trust orang...payah sangat...but as long as u keep do it, make it better...sikit2 mata dorang akan terbuka...just one thing, bila orang dah tahu apa yang kita boleh...orang jarang nak ubah pandangan tu...as for me, i start as keeper...so, bila aku tak main keeper, i know a few people tak boleh terima...bila aku nak try main atas, even tak dicakap depan2 pun but pertikaian tentang itu still ada n i know it...but tak salah if i want to change kan?bukan aku tak tahu apa2...i know what i can do...okay tu je...bye
1st time jadi player atas
assalammualaikum
ermmm...tiba2 terasa nak cerita pula my 1st experience last 2 weeks main hockey as a player..bukan sebagai keeper seperti kebiasaan...well, kenapa tak jadi keeper?yesss soalan yg sangatlah banyak ditanya pada hari friendly ritu...sebab kami tak cukup pemain...bukan nak bajet2 hebat boleh main atas, TAK...tapi sebab betul2 xcukup orang and kebetulan ada keeper baru...ilmu sikit2 main bahagian atas tu ada la sebab selalu training dengan budak laki...so, sikit2 tahulah kan...
alkisahye main 11 orang but kami just ada 10 orang..itu pun kena main 40 minit..1st 20min n sambung other 20 min...placing en rahim letak...well, elok2 dia bahagikan..actually, dalam 10 orang tu, hanya 4 orang je yg tahu game...yang lain dak baru...baru sangat n tak pernah main game pun...4 orang tu pun, aku n kak ai je yg turun training...lagi 2 tak...so, nampak tak kerapuhan team yg ada masa tu???tapi friendly tu tak boleh dibatalkan...tak dibenarkan pun postpone...en rahim cakap kompem kami kena ayamkan n kena gelak habis...aku iyekan je apa en rahim cakap...memang r...with team camtu, jumpa lak team kebangsaan sbp, tak ke cam teruk sangat masa depan dia tu...kejutan for me masa tu is en rahim letak aku center forward...sumpah tercengang...aku tak ingat sangat center forward tu part mana tapi aku tahu dia area2 striker tu...nak minta tukar posisi pun en rahim dah blah...so, konsep aku redho habis pergi posisi yg diberi...malu pun ada hoiiiii...tak pernah aku try main atas camtu...
game start...aku konon2 praktikkan apa yang belajar dari game dak2 laki r...cari ruang n naik atas...tak sampai a few minutes, en rahim jerit dari tepi... "YUT, kau turun pergi jadi defend kanan" ...penyakit habaq ang...aku dah naik baru nak suruh...aku pun mula la gerak tapi sempat berborak dengan Fai yang jadi striker masa tu...Fai cam hilang arah pula sebab tak tahu nak passing bola kat siapa...maybe expectation dia ke aku tinggi la kot...nampak cam berpengalaman kekonon main atas...sempat gak memberi kata2 semangat ke Fai...huiyooo main...bukan main ye...first 20 mins aku okay lagi...seriusly okay...tapi aku main 2 in 1 r lebih kurang...defend kanan memang posisi aku, sambil tu berlari2 gak jadi wing kanan...sebab ye wing kanan tak hidup...gilo, elok2 naik, bila kena turun, tu sakit...sumpah penat...1st half okay lagi...
cerita dia masa 2nd half sumpah aku dah hilang tenaga habis...tapi gigihkan diri gak r...3, 4 kali gak nak termuntah2 dalam padang kes penat sangat2...nak tukar orang memang tak boleh...at one part bola dalam kawasan D kami, n ntah camne bola melekat kat stick aku...masa tu terus tengok line, mengharapkan ada orang kat tepi tapi takde...memang aku buang bola tu jauh2 ke tepi...at least dapat tarik nafas sikit...a few time gak kena short corner tapi dapat dipatahkan...dapat kak ai, zaidah semua...memang terasa selamat disitu...
one part masa 2nd half, bola naik atas cantik...so, dengan aku2 lah naik atas gak...sekadar menyumbang diri mana tahu kot2 bola dapat ke...tapi seriusly slack kat aku banyak gak sebab bukan tak reti defend bola tapi banyak kena dummy...dah naik lepas kawasan 25 kot, sekali dapat shortcorner...perghhh...rasa cam relief gila masa tu...aku terus r pergi..sebab tahu siapa lagi yang nak ambil shortcorner kalau bukan kami2 yang lama nie...sekali ku pusing2 cari kak ai, dia kat luar...denggggg....dah siapa lak nak jadi pusher ye...aku dah dok tepi...tak mengharap pun sumbang bakti masa short corner tu...tapi masa tu kami bertiga je...so, zaidah dah ambil part pusher, aku n fai ni cam ragu2 siapa nak hit or stopper...tapi aku minx aku jadi stopper...biar si fai pukul...sekali, si islah yang masa tu jadi refree panggil aku...aku pandang2 dia soh aku jadi pusher...dengan muka habis blur ye aku pandang dia...4 kali aku tanya serius ke suruh aku ambil jadi pusher...islah dengan confident cakap yess...amboi...las2 aku ambil gak...wahhhhh...ni betul2 1st experience..alhamdulillah bola jadi...tapi syg sikit je...fai tahan dlm kawasan D...okay, masa tu, aku dari goal lawan, pecut lari turun bawah...memang tak meninggal langsung kan perasaan dia???sumpah penat gila masa nie...
so, game habis with 1-0...kami kalah tapi but not bad for a team yang tak well prepared n juga with team yang penuh dengan newbies...at least newbies pun they show a very good performance...aku terasa cam bangga lak tengok game dorang...for a team yang kak ekin tanya mana aku kutip budak2 tu...well, at least they show some effort..they show what they desired to be...lepas tu, bila aku roger untuk turun training, even ada yang bagi alasan pun,but ada yang semangat...sometime, aku turun training pun sebab dorang yang nak turun...team members macam nie yang aku cari2 for the whole sem nie...at least sikit effort kita mencari orang, ajak orang turun tu berbayar r...they show some improvement...i'm not a best player but for someone that already be in the team for a time being, sometime, we can know what is good or not...hope dorang keep mantain dengan semangat tu...takdelah turun training petang2 i'm da only girl lagi kan...in sha Allah team, hope we can be good..prepare for upcoming masum...
ermmm...tiba2 terasa nak cerita pula my 1st experience last 2 weeks main hockey as a player..bukan sebagai keeper seperti kebiasaan...well, kenapa tak jadi keeper?yesss soalan yg sangatlah banyak ditanya pada hari friendly ritu...sebab kami tak cukup pemain...bukan nak bajet2 hebat boleh main atas, TAK...tapi sebab betul2 xcukup orang and kebetulan ada keeper baru...ilmu sikit2 main bahagian atas tu ada la sebab selalu training dengan budak laki...so, sikit2 tahulah kan...
alkisahye main 11 orang but kami just ada 10 orang..itu pun kena main 40 minit..1st 20min n sambung other 20 min...placing en rahim letak...well, elok2 dia bahagikan..actually, dalam 10 orang tu, hanya 4 orang je yg tahu game...yang lain dak baru...baru sangat n tak pernah main game pun...4 orang tu pun, aku n kak ai je yg turun training...lagi 2 tak...so, nampak tak kerapuhan team yg ada masa tu???tapi friendly tu tak boleh dibatalkan...tak dibenarkan pun postpone...en rahim cakap kompem kami kena ayamkan n kena gelak habis...aku iyekan je apa en rahim cakap...memang r...with team camtu, jumpa lak team kebangsaan sbp, tak ke cam teruk sangat masa depan dia tu...kejutan for me masa tu is en rahim letak aku center forward...sumpah tercengang...aku tak ingat sangat center forward tu part mana tapi aku tahu dia area2 striker tu...nak minta tukar posisi pun en rahim dah blah...so, konsep aku redho habis pergi posisi yg diberi...malu pun ada hoiiiii...tak pernah aku try main atas camtu...
game start...aku konon2 praktikkan apa yang belajar dari game dak2 laki r...cari ruang n naik atas...tak sampai a few minutes, en rahim jerit dari tepi... "YUT, kau turun pergi jadi defend kanan" ...penyakit habaq ang...aku dah naik baru nak suruh...aku pun mula la gerak tapi sempat berborak dengan Fai yang jadi striker masa tu...Fai cam hilang arah pula sebab tak tahu nak passing bola kat siapa...maybe expectation dia ke aku tinggi la kot...nampak cam berpengalaman kekonon main atas...sempat gak memberi kata2 semangat ke Fai...huiyooo main...bukan main ye...first 20 mins aku okay lagi...seriusly okay...tapi aku main 2 in 1 r lebih kurang...defend kanan memang posisi aku, sambil tu berlari2 gak jadi wing kanan...sebab ye wing kanan tak hidup...gilo, elok2 naik, bila kena turun, tu sakit...sumpah penat...1st half okay lagi...
cerita dia masa 2nd half sumpah aku dah hilang tenaga habis...tapi gigihkan diri gak r...3, 4 kali gak nak termuntah2 dalam padang kes penat sangat2...nak tukar orang memang tak boleh...at one part bola dalam kawasan D kami, n ntah camne bola melekat kat stick aku...masa tu terus tengok line, mengharapkan ada orang kat tepi tapi takde...memang aku buang bola tu jauh2 ke tepi...at least dapat tarik nafas sikit...a few time gak kena short corner tapi dapat dipatahkan...dapat kak ai, zaidah semua...memang terasa selamat disitu...
so, game habis with 1-0...kami kalah tapi but not bad for a team yang tak well prepared n juga with team yang penuh dengan newbies...at least newbies pun they show a very good performance...aku terasa cam bangga lak tengok game dorang...for a team yang kak ekin tanya mana aku kutip budak2 tu...well, at least they show some effort..they show what they desired to be...lepas tu, bila aku roger untuk turun training, even ada yang bagi alasan pun,but ada yang semangat...sometime, aku turun training pun sebab dorang yang nak turun...team members macam nie yang aku cari2 for the whole sem nie...at least sikit effort kita mencari orang, ajak orang turun tu berbayar r...they show some improvement...i'm not a best player but for someone that already be in the team for a time being, sometime, we can know what is good or not...hope dorang keep mantain dengan semangat tu...takdelah turun training petang2 i'm da only girl lagi kan...in sha Allah team, hope we can be good..prepare for upcoming masum...
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