at last

tiba2 saja teringat....last few days....i got a call...call from someone that i'm quite closed before....but for the first call...that person just want me to do something...call juz asked for help...okay....then...i got other call from the same person...and this time that person told me that i don't have to do what he asked before...than...finally...we had a quite long conversation...actually not a conversation because it more to what we call it...can i thought it as a sharing problem???yeah2...suddenly that person share problem with me....i juz lean my ears for....actually..because of a problem before...since that person had broke my heart before....i actually juz heard all the problem because of pity....not like before that i had all my heart to hear the problem or stories or anything...it was like i heard it with half hearted....

kelakar pulak bila fikir balik...back to last year...orang tu dengan segala bangganya menyatakan aku nie jadi punca kenapa dia stress...bukan aku tak perasan...yesss....ko tak selesa...because i was in the middle between of you...yeahh...aku yang menyelit tiba2....and mungkin kau tak selesalah dengan sikap aku antara korang or senang ceritalah...kau dah dapat kawan baru...fine...aku yang kau dah kenal before nie...okaylah...i'm not closed with you anymore...aku nie dah jadi beban sampai kau nak mengamuk2...and the best part is...you admit, you confess in FRONT of me...not in telephone or message but face to face that you think that we cannot be best friend like before...but actually i already know that you will talk bout that...so, i already accept it....since than....memang aku tak contact langsung kau...kecuali bila perlu...buat apa aku contact orang yang rasa aku nie beban kepada diri dia kan???lagipun orang dah buang kita...tak perlu terhegeh2 aku rasa....so, i juz take it like we're juz friend not bestfriend...nak admit aku ada bestfriend like ko pun...aku dah tak terasa....

and baru nie bila kau call balik...story bout your problem...the only thing i think at that time...why me?where is your bestfriend that you told before that you think that person can be your best friend ever?but since i still respect you as a friend i juz keep it shut....ko cakap ko bukan like before...yesss...aku terus terang...bila aku cakap pasal sikap kau semua...at last conversation...aku still remember that kau cakap aku memang kenal kau...sebab apa aku cakap semua memang kena dengan diri kau...aku tak ingat dah sebenarnya aku cakap apa...aku juz diam no komen....sebetulnya aku tak kenal pun siapa kau sekarang....sebab memang lain...dari kau yang dulu and now...it totally different....

mungkin kalau kau tahu pasal nie...maybe kau rasa sakit hatilah...aku bukan jenis suka speak out what i feel like kau...tapi think bout it again...siapa yang mulakan dulu....kau cakap aku nie menyusahkan but suddenly when you are in difficult situation...kau cari balik orang yang susahkan hidup kau nie....aku tak kisah kalau kau buat begitu tapi yang jadi aku tak boleh terima is confession kau yang dengan bangganya menyatakan aku nie bukan kawan baik kau untuk masa itu lah ini lah....aigggooooo.....ayat kau se lagi is....kenapalah aku tak ada di situ...memang aku tahu function aku nie cuma untuk jadi tempat kau luah masalah kan???dulu aku boleh terima lagi but once...you hurted my feeling...its done....kau call aku nak borak sesaja...aku hanya diam...sebab memang dah tak terasa kita nie kawan pun....minta maaf cakaplah...aku yang emo ke apa ke....but its the reality....

sungguh aku tak kisah sebenarnya dengar masalah member2...dah biasalah orang cari bila perlu je....but seramai2 yang buat begitu pun...tak ada sesengal kau yang dah label aku buat masalah ke kau, bebankan kau...alih2 cari aku balik....memang kelakarlah kan....aku rasa baiklah kau cari balik mana kawan yang kau agungkan sangat satu masa dulu tu...sampai aku yang kau dah kenal lagi lama nie....kau boleh campak gitu je kan....memang tak hurtlah kan feeling aku, kau buat begitu.....mungkin agak kejam but i really hope you never contact me again...it become a burdensome for me now....